Why You Should Listen to Others

I was out at dinner the other night and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between a couple seated next to me. Each was talking, but neither was listening to the other. This is by no means the first time I have encountered this. Time and time again, I have witnessed people not listening to each other but instead, completely focused on what they are going to say next.

I became aware of this same thing in my own behavior several years ago and have made a concentrated effort to correct it. When speaking with someone, I often had a list of things in my head that I wanted to say – and rather than listen to what was being said, I instead impatiently waited for the next bit of “dead air” when I could interject what I wanted to say. Occasionally, I noticed a stung look on someone’s face, as I abruptly cut them off to speak my piece – or when I completely failed to acknowledge what they had said.

This new perception then led me to reflect on occurrences when this same thing had happened to me. I remember how irritated I would become when I suspected that the person with whom I was conversing did not hear a thing I said (often, I would question them later, just to test my theory). I felt that my conversation partner showed me an utter lack of respect by not bothering to listen to me. I was a bit of an eye-opener when I realized that I was doing the same thing to others. I was disrespecting them by not listening to their opinions, comments, stories or anecdotes.

Lucky, I found this a relatively easy habit to correct. I simply made a conscious effort to really start listening to others and to focus on what they were saying, rather than focusing on what I wanted to say next. As a result of changing my behavior, I discovered that my relations with others have drastically improved and a lot less miscommunication occurs. I feel closer to people when I’m speaking to them. Moreover, by being attentive to what is being said, I constantly open myself up to new ideas and learn new facts.

It also seems parties involved in an active “listening” conversation seem calmer, more relaxed – or at least I do. Interrupting others constantly is exhausting! I am now learning so much more about the people I interact with – there seems to be a much stronger connection between us.

Something to think about if any of this resonates with you — it certainly has changed my life for the better.

Photo courtesy of Orange_Beard