Getting Caught in the Upgrade Trap

But I Like This One!

I was at a get-together the other night and a friend of mine recounted her recent experiences at a local cell phone carrier store. She had lost her charger and wanted to get a replacement. This was not an easy task as her phone was old (I'm talking really old) and chargers for her type of phone were difficult to find these days. When she told the young man at the store that she wanted to replace her charger, he said, "But you're eligible for a new phone. For free." She replied, "But I don't want a new phone. I like this phone."

She told us that he was gobsmacked by the idea that she wasn't willing to jump at the chance to obtain an free new phone -- that she preferred to continue to use a phone that was several years old (and not very pretty anymore) rather than exchange it for a shiny new model. He called a couple of other stores and ended up finding her a charger that would work with her phone.

Our Need to Upgrade

This story really got me thinking about our need to upgrade to the latest and greatest gadget, whether we need it or not. Many of us fall into this trap of upgrading our phones, computers and tablets every one or two years, even though our current model is in perfect working order. It seems that whenever a new version of our device comes out, we no longer like our current item. We become dissatisfied with what we have and want something better.

Photographers and Upgrading

This need to have the latest and greatest gear seems to hold true for many photographers, myself included. Why just the other day, I found myself lusting over the latest Nikon SLR, even though my current camera works just fine and probably has several years of use ahead of it. Many of us feel that in order to take good pictures, we need the best camera, the best lens or the best filter. This need to have the newest equipment is not only costly, but can also hold a photographer back from progressing forward in his/her career. Some people become so obsessed with the gear that they lose the vision. I have even heard folks say that they can't go "professional" until they get a "proper" camera (read: more expensive) that takes the best pictures possible.

So we purchase the expensive gear that marketers tell us we need and six months later, our stuff becomes obsolete as new, better gear comes out. Drat! Time to upgrade. Oftentimes, we don't think twice about dumping our perfectly working gear for the latest iteration.

What Did the Masters Use?

I can't help but think of the popular photographers of old, the masters. Did they have or need a camera that took 28 megapixel images? No. They took beautiful pictures with cameras that we today would scoff at. So jow did they do it? How did they take such gorgeous images with such subpar equipment? They knew their craft. That is to say, one's success as a photographer does not depend on the type of camera one uses but rather on one's skills and abilities. Having the best camera on the market will not a better photographer make. Only through practice, study and taking a hell of a lot of pictures can a person increase their photography skills.

Upgrade Only When We Need To

Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't upgrade our equipment when we need to, photography equipment or otherwise. I admit that I just recently upgraded my cell phone. But it wasn't because I was lusting after latest and greatest model (well, perhaps just a bit). My previous phone would reboot itself several times throughout the day and often would become unresponsive to the point where I was unable to answer phone calls. Being as this was my business phone, this behavior was unacceptable. So yeah, it was time to upgrade.

While we often do need to upgrade our tools when they can no longer perform the work required of them, it might help to ask some questions first:

• Why do I need to upgrade?
• What would happen if I didn't upgrade?
• Can I wait six months/a year or do I need to upgrade now?
• If my current device preventing me from getting my work done properly?
• Would this upgrade be money well spent?
• Do I need to upgrade or do I just want to upgrade?

Asking questions before replacing our equipment might prevent us from making hasty decisions and getting caught up in the never-ending upgrade trap. Perhaps like my friend, we can learn to be satisfied with what we have and not continuously lust after something new.

By the way, I didn't buy the new Nikon nor will I anytime soon. I realized that I still like my current camera and it serves me just fine.

An Entrepreneurial Challenge

Why So Quiet

I know that it's been mighty quiet around here lately. I haven't been ignoring the blog though. I've actually been recovering from unexpected surgery.

That annoying stomach ache I was getting more and more frequently turned out to be a very swelled gall bladder. So I finally went to the doctor and was scheduled for surgery the next day (the Ultrasound specialist said that my gall bladder looked scary").

A Plethora of Firsts

This was an experience of many firsts for me - first time for surgery, first time I've ever been under general anesthetic and first time I've ever been in the hospital. I do have to say that none of these are an experience I wish to repeat. Although everything went smoothly and the health care professionals that I worked with were excellent.

Luckily, they were able to remove my gall bladder laparoscopically (minimally invasive surgery), which meant a shorter recovery time. The doctor told me that I would be out of commission for a week. "No problem," I thought. "I can handle a week off." So I prepared my businesses the best I could and went in for surfer. Things didn't proceed quite as planned, however. While they were operating on me, they discovered that I also had a hernia (I had no idea!) so they operated on that as well. Unfortunately, the recovery time for that is not quite so fast (no lifting or straining for 6 weeks). But as of right now, I'm on the road to recovery.

Entrepreneurial Challenges

I do have to say that this is one of those times that can be challenging for an entrepreneur. I can't just call a boss and tell him or her that I won't be into work for the next 6 weeks. Nobody is going to step in and do my work for me or deal with my clients. There is only me. So this meant that the day after surgery, I was answering e-mail and talking to clients over the phone. Less than two weeks after surgery, I had a two weddings and a rehearsal over the same weekend.

For just a second (OK - maybe longer than a second), I thought about how nice it would have been to simply be able to call in to work and not have to worry about anything work related -- to completely rest for the next several weeks and know that my paycheck would be deposited to my account. I might have even briefly questioned my decision to become an entrepreneur.

But these fleeting thoughts quickly disappeared. In reality, I would never willingly trade my freedom for a cubicle. Even though there will be challenging life periods like this one from time to time, I still prefer working for myself. I love the fact that I can explore my creativity and do the work that I want to do, not work that someone forces me to do. I love the freedom to schedule my days as it suits me. I love the fact that I can explore new creative paths on my own. I even came up with some great ideas while lying in bed convalescing.

Yeah, being your own boss can be a pain at times -- but I wouldn't change it for anything.

When Your Body Betrays You

I have been laid up all week with a horrible cold. I had the best of intentions for this week, complete with a lengthy list of goals and projects that I needed to accomplish. I was going to take the bull by the horns and show it who was boss. But alas, it was not meant to be. My body had betrayed me once again.

A Continuous Lesson

This is a lesson that I seem to learn over and over again. That is: no matter how much in control we think we are of our world, the universe will often step in to remind us that this is not necessarily the case.

I remember not too long ago that I made a promise to myself to start getting up earlier. I was going to be true morning person. So I set my alarm for 7:00 a.m. (with plans to eventually make it to 6:00 a.m.). But the universe had other plans for me - Insomnia. So there I was, tossing and turning in bed until 5:30 before finally drifting off to sleep. Betrayed by my body once again. Needless to say, I did not get up at 7:00 that morning.

But Don't Give Up

Now I'm not saying that we should all throw our arms up and the air and constantly expect the worse. Without plans, goals, intentions and to-do lists, we would rarely accomplish anything or get ahead in life. What I am saying is that we simply have to be ready for our plans to change -- and they will change. We might get sick, break a bone, get hit with an extended bout of insomnia or sprain a muscle -- and not surprisingly, it usually happens at the worst possible time or when we're at our busiest (I have a theory that it's the universe's way of telling us we need to slow down...but I digress). I have found that there's really no sense in getting pissed off about it because oftentimes, there is little we can do about our situation except wait -- wait for the bone to mend or the insomnia to pass.

When One Door Closes...

You might really be surprised to learn that finding yourself in bed for a week or discovering that something or someone stalled your precious plans is not the worst thing that could happen. Often, it can be the proverbial blessing in disguise. For instance, this week while I was sick and lying about, ideas for new projects, new ventures and new possible paths to explore seemed to flow out of nowhere. Just giving ourselves a break from our usual routine can open the door for new opportunities to enter. I came up with some great new ideas this week that I can't wait to try out (when I'm better). I also had an opportunity to catch up on video tutorials that I've been meaning to watch but hadn't made the time to do so. Being laid up in bed or on the couch for several days can be the perfect opportunity to catch up on the "other stuff" that isn't part of our regular workflow.

Remember my goal of turning into an early morning person that was interrupted by insomnia? On the second night, rather than toss and turn all night long, I got out of bed, sat at my computer and decided that I might as well try to get some work done. So there I was at 3:00 in the morning, doing some of the most productive work I've managed to accomplish in a long time. The house was completely quiet. My phone and doorbell were silent. It was an unexpected gift of pure distraction-free creative time. By the time I started getting sleepy, I had accomplished an incredible amount of work in just a couple hours -- time that would have been otherwise wasted by me tossing and turning in bed while cursing at the unfairness of the universe.

So when you get sideswiped by the dark cloud of the unexpected, you might wish to pause for a moment and look for the silver lining. You may be surprised how many times there will be one.

Wordless Wednesday - Waiting for Spring

My Minimalism

I write about minimalism from time to time but it was not a conscious choice on my part to become a minimalist. It just sort of happened by itself many years ago.

The First Good Job

I came from a farming family and being relatively poor, grew up without a lot of stuff. But I was always envious of the neighborhood kids who had money - the ones who had motorcycles, expensive clothes and always a wad of cash in their pocket. I swore that someday, that would be me -- that someday I would have all the money I need.

So I went to college and then landed what I call my first real job -- or should I say my first job with a real paycheck. Now it wasn't a CEO position or a high-powered job where I was brining in six figures. I'm talking about $40,000 or so a year which to me, at the time, was a lot of money.

I was also running around with a group of friends who enjoyed the finer things in life like name brand clothes, expensive home decorations and fine dining and I hated to admit it, but I strived to be like them, to have what they had. This was the point in my life that I call my "accumulation phase."

Going Shopping

I bought all sorts of nicknacks, do-dads, clothes, furniture and even ended up collecting things (which was surprising, as I was never much of a collector): silver-plated objects such as tea service sets and champagne buckets, salt & pepper shakers, china flatware, crystal stemware and all sorts of useless crap. Once I started buying, I wanted more and more -- and more and more I obtained. Unfortunately, even though I made decent money it was not enough to cover all of my expenditures and before long, I found myself with skyrocketing credit card bills.

The Slow Awakening

Luckily, this phase spending didn't last more than a few years. Soon I found myself becoming claustrophobic with all the clutter. My shelves and closets were crammed full of crap and I had a difficult time finding anything. Every time I would reach on a table for an item, I would knock three more of them off of the table. Every time I needed an item, there was something in my way, something I had to maneuver around to get what I needed. I grew more and more frustrated by the mountain of stuff as time went on (OK -- maybe not quite a mountain. I never quite reached hoarder stage).

Hiding from my Crap

I found myself spending less and less time at my apartment, not even realizing at first that I couldn't stand being there because of all the stuff. Being somewhat of a homebody, I feel most at home when a apartment or house is warm, comfortable, nurturing and beautiful. At some point I realized that my home was none of those things. How could it be, choked with clutter? It was chaos. Through this I learned that a home filled with useless stuff is no home at all. Instead of feeling at peace in my abode, I felt stressed, nervous and high-strung. All of these possessions, fueled by promises of instant gratification had instead created not only a cluttered living space, but also cluttered my mind and took away my inner peace. My cluttered external space became mirrored in my internal space. Once I realized this, I decided that it was time to unload. And thus the purging began.

The Great Purge

Of course, this is a lot easier to say than it is to actually carry out. There was the whole experience of learning to let go. I learned a lot about myself during this process. For instance, I discovered how attached I truly was to my stuff. I had an especially difficult time getting rid of the hundreds of books on my sagging bookshelves. It's very rare that I reread a book as there are so many other interesting new books to read (my to be read list is lengthy and ever-growing). Yet, I found it initially painful to part with my books, books that I know I would never read again. It was a learning experience as I realized how strong my attachment was to certain stuff. But once I started getting rid of them, I felt liberated and light. I will also say that the advent of the Amazon Kindle helped here. It's been several years since I've purchased a physical book. All my favorites are now stored on my Kindle but only those that I really want to keep. Electronic clutter can be just as annoying as physical clutter.

My Minimalism

Now I am not one of those folks who strives to own only 100, 50 or 25 things. My friend of mine once said, "100 things? I have more than 100 things in my purse!"

Everyone has their own idea of what minimalism is. Some people might not even consider me a minimalist while others would think (and have actually said) that my living space is too austere. My definition of minimalism is this: To only own that which provides value to my life, encourages growth and helps to provide a deeper and richer experience during my time on earth. For instance, photography adds value and purpose to my life so I own a couple of cameras, several lenses, tripods and a small set of photography books and DVDs. I don't see these as unnecessary items, but rather as tools that allow me to do what I love. It an item doesn't add value or beauty to my life then it has no place in my living space. Anyone who decides to journey down the path of minimalism however, has to decide for themselves what minimalism means to them. The only right answer or right way to approach minimalism is finding out what works for you.

Since I got rid of all that excess stuff in my life, I find that I am much calmer and enjoy being at home a lot more. Seeing that home is where I spend a good deal of my time creating -- by writing, working on photos or making music -- it makes sense that my home be a place that doesn't cause clutter in my mind -- a place that is peaceful rather than chaotic, open rather than crammed. All that stuff didn't make me happy. Instead, happiness only came after I got rid of the excess possessions -- after I let go of my attachment to things.

These days, I'm more about experiences and connecting with my community rather than owning stuff and this is what I found has added the most substance to my life.

Why It's Important to Grow and Evolve

"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." ~ Auntie Mame

I ran across a friend recently whom I had not seen in over 30 years. He had aged (like all of us do) but apart from that, he had not changed a bit.

He still works at a restaurant as a short order cook (which surprised me -- when I knew him, he had plans to go to med school). He still has the same interests. He still smokes. He still parties like crazy on the weekends. He even still watches the same television shows. He told me how much he loves "The Young and the Restless" and asked me if I still watch it. It took me moment to realize what he was talking about. He was referring to a soap opera we watched when we were barely out of our teens.

I don't find lack of change to be a good thing. If you don't change, you don't grow -- and I believe that it's part of being human to grow, to change, to evolve. By growing and continuously learning, we discover and live up to our potential. We grow into who we are meant to be. We learn how to be better people and in so doing, motivate those around us to become better people.

By not growing, we often feel empty inside, sometimes even lost. We have the feeling deep down inside of us that there must be something more to life that what we are experiencing. We become exiles from one another and from our community, wandering to and fro like a homeless zombie.

An acquaintance once said to me:

"I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up -- but I know it wasn't this."

We need to stop and look down into our untapped creativity and potential and then, bring it forward. But wishing, yearning, dreaming and hoping won't do it -- only concrete action will.

So how can we move from sleepwalking complacency to growth, from exile to inclusion?

• By engaging with people, both old and new.
• By engaging with life, not avoiding it.
• By reading books, both fiction and non-fiction.
• By connecting with nature (the ultimate teacher of change and growth).
• By slowing down and appreciating the moment.
• By taking classes and/or workshops.
• By taking on a new hobby
• By engaging with teachers.
• By remembering your dreams and then taking first steps -- even tiny ones -- to bring those dreams closer into reality.
• By trying or learning something completely new, even if it scares you. Trying doing something that you're not good at.

There are many ways to get started but most importantly, you have to get started. I have found that creating a list of all the things you want to be or learn -- or dreams you have ignored or put on hold -- is a great place to begin. I personally did this several years ago and rediscovered photography, a dream I had put on hold.

Now you may say that not everyone wants to change or grow. That may be true -- and that's fine. But often, it's not that we have made a conscious choice to stay the way we are, but rather we just forgot to follow our dreams. We became complacent, lazy and simply accepted our circumstances.

If you are exactly the same as you were twenty, ten or even five years ago, ask yourself, "Is this the life that I want? Am I happy with the way things are? Or do I feel a yearning to grow and evolve in a different direction?"

A New Home

If you've been coming to this blog for awhile, you may have noticed that the entire site looks different.  That is because Mist in the Garden now has a new home with a new Web hosting provider.  After getting hacked a couple of times, I decided that it was time to move to a more secure solution.

While the Web address remains the same, the rest of the site is noticeably different.  For one thing, I have taken more of a minimalist approach to design and have hopefully made the site easier to navigate.  Additionally, I have eliminated the sidebars for a crisper cleaner look.

Feel free to look around and get to know the new site -- and let me know if you find any issues or broken links.

Book Review: How to Disappear

This week’s book was How to Disappear: Erase Your Digital Footprint, Leave False Trails and Vanish Without a Trace by Frank M. Ahearn. Why this book? The title intrigued me. Now I am not planning on disappearing or going “on the lam” but I thought the book might have some guidance on how to perhaps minimize my digital footprint (not easy to do these day) as well as help to protect my privacy both while online and offline.

The author was a “professional skip tracer” by trade - that is to say, someone whose job it was to find people who didn’t want to be found. His anecdotes and real-world scenarios on his successful finds were entertaining, intriguing and provided some excellent advice on what NOT to do. He has since then, changed careers and now he helps people to disappear. Why would you want to disappear? Perhaps you are being stalked or just want to start over. He covers all of these things and much more.

The chapters of the book include:

• Meet your enemy: the skip tracer
• Time to disappear
• Misinformation
• Tracks and clues in the home
• Disinformation
• Your reformation arsenal
• Reformation
• How not to disappear
• Disappear form identity thieves
• Disappear from social media
• Disappear from a frog
• Disappear from a stalker
• Disappear from the country
• Pseudocide

Overall, I felt the book contained a lot of valuable information. One chapter I especially liked was the one on Disinformation (destroying data about you) - how to start leaving less of a digital footprint by using false information such as a fake e-mail address, misspellings in your address and name, false employment history and more. Now the idea here is not to do this in order to engage in illegal activities, but rather to protect your privacy - to stop the spam email, telemarketing calls, junk mail and make it more difficult for people (stalkers, ex’s, etc.) to find you.

The book also paints a real life picture of what’s really involved with disappearing. Many people imagine spending their days in a tropical island paradise, being served Pina Coladas on a beach all day long by a handsome young men or women. The reality is a complicated web of multiple mail drops, prepaid credit cards, prepaid cellphones, public internet access points, as well as giving up your hobbies or interests and having good amount of cash. I personally felt the the portions of the book that pertained to the Internet and privacy were most beneficial but then again, I’m not about to go into hiding. If you are being stalked by someone or are the victim in an abusive relationship, then these other sections may be of particular interest to you. Many of the techniques Frank recommends could also be a good way to avoid - or at minimize the possibility of - identity theft.

The conversational and easy-to-understand tone of the book makes it pleasurable to read. Even if you are not yourself planning on disappearing, the book has many useful tips on guarding your privacy and reducing your digital footprint. If you are serious about disappearing, then this book in indispensable (I also would recommend J.J. Luna’s book “How to be Invisible” as well). Recommended!

Book Review: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

This week’s book was Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. This book has been on my list for quite some time - I believe I read a review of it a couple of years back and it intrigued me. In the book, Frankl describes his life in four different Nazi concentrations camps, including Auschwitz, from 1942 to 1945 and his subsequent theories of logotherapy that resulted from his experiences at the camps.

In the first part of the book, Frankl relates some of his own experiences at the camps. While many of his descriptions of day to day life depicted a horrifying existence, Frankl, a psychiatrist, often approached the narration from a psychological perspective. He demonstrates that even though one’s comrades were dying all around them, one could still find hope and peace amidst all the horror.

At times, his anecdotes were so vivid and so disturbing (but not gruesome), that I had to put the book down for a bit and digest what I had read. However, while there were certainly scenes of unspeakable suffering, there was also hope and inspiration, as Frankl describes how he found the emotional strength to survive the camps. In the book, he looks more at how the prisoners respond to the events rather than looking at the events themselves - how some of them coped and subsequently survived while staring death in the face on a daily basis, while others did not.

The main thrust of the book was how people strive to make meaning of their lives above all else. He also demonstrated by example how those who felt life did not have meaning, simply did not survive the camps. That above all else, one must strive to make meaning out of the suffering, to believe that life does have meaning. He recounted an excellent and moving anecdote of a fellow prisoner who had a dream that they would be freed on a certain date. He awaited the date with anticipation - the hope of being freed kept him going. When the date finally came and went, the man lost all hope. He was dead within a week.

Through his writing, Frank demonstrates the courage and strength that people are capable of when faced with a seemingly hopeless situation. It is when we surrender to nihilism and despair in dire circumstances that we lose. Even though the prisoners were stripped of their very identity and relegated to a status no higher than that cattle, many of them rose above the situation by focusing on the the deeper meaning of their life. Though they had lost everything - their freedom, their spouse, their family, their very identity - they themselves chose how to respond to the horrendous situation and by doing so gave meaning to their suffering. They believed that they existed for something - a spouse, a child, a future dream, or future plans. Frankl states in the book that the one thing that cannot be taken away from us is our attitude, the way we respond:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

In the second part of the book, Frankl discusses his theories of logotherapy. Here, he talks about what he believes drives man to survive, even in the most grim of circumstances. This part of the book moves from the anecdotal to the psychological. The basis of logotherapy is that man’s primary motivating force is a search for meaning and this search for meaning even ranks above our pursuit of happiness. In this way, much of the depression and despair we experience is a result of a lack of meaning in our life. When we find our higher purpose for living, we will be able to overcome insurmountable obstacles and make it through nearly anything. I will say that the second part of the book is more technical than the first but is easily readable even if you do not have a scientific background.

The life lessons on the human condition contained in this small book are too numerous to identify here. This extraordinary book is moving, fascinating, powerful and inspiring - and can cause the reader to ponder the meaning in his or her own life. At the most, this book has the potential to be life-changing. Recommended!

Is It Time To Give Up Yet?

Last week, I came across a quote by Zig Ziglar, “Don't get discouraged; it is often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.” This has been true for me on more than one occasion. Very often, my first or even second effort would result in failure. But I kept going and eventually, I would find the right combination. It is said that Edison experienced 1,000 failures before the finally got the lightbulb to work. Just as the quote says, sometimes the last thing we try is the thing that works - or the last key in the bunch, as it were.

There are times, however, when it is time to quit. Years ago, I created a new business with which I struggled for over 6 years. Each year, the business put me more and more into debt. At the end of the year, it was certain that this year would be the one - this would be the year that it all came together. But again and again, it did not. I found myself working 50 to 60 hours a week on the business for very minimal reward. I tried everything I could think of to market the business, but alas, no luck. Finally, I decided to close it down and instead focus on something else. It was the best thing that I ever did.

So if you have a venture that simply does not seem to be taking off and instead, is taking up all of your time and money, and leads to nothing but frustration and disappointment, it might be prudent to ask yourself whether it’s time to give up and move on to something with more promise and potential.

While the last key in the bunch often does open the lock, there is no sense in continuing to pay a loan on a dead horse.

Photo courtesy of nasacommons

Book Review: Accidental Genius by Mark Levy

This week’s book was Accidental Genius: Revolutionize Your Thinking Through Private Writing by Mark Levy. Through the use of what Levy calls “Private Writing”, he teaches us how to generate amazing “genius” ideas (and have fun doing it) - all while breaking us out of the ruts in which we may find ourselves.

Private Writing is a free-writing technique that Levy presents, in which you write as fast as you can without worrying about grammar, spelling or whether our ideas are any good. The goal here, is to silence the inner critic - that part of us that censors our work (and often tells us that our work is garbage). How does this work? In the book he states, “If your mind knows your head won’t stop moving, it’ll ease up on trying to edit out your ‘inappropriate’ and underdeveloped thoughts.” I personally have used something similar when creating mind maps and each time, I have been amazed at the new and worthy ideas that crop up. By writing quickly and putting down anything that comes to your mind, the inner critic no longer bothers to keep up with you and instead, gives your free reign.

At first glance, the technique reminded me of the Morning Pages method that Julia Cameron discussed in her popular book “The Artist’s Way”. But there is a big difference between the two. While it is true you are writing whatever comes into your head, you are doing so with a focus. Perhaps you are examining a problem in your life or want to come up with ideas on how to move the plot of your novel forward. This is where the inspiration part comes in. By focused free-writing, we no longer only stick with what we know to be safe and sure to be accepted by others - instead, we open ourselves to new ideas and new ways of looking at things. According to Levy, this method is excellent for problem solving.

In the book, Levy provides us with six secrets to private writing, including “Write Fast and Continuously”, “Work Against a Limit” and “Write the Way you Think.” I found these three secrets especially helpful and relevant to my own work. In the next section of the book entitled “Powerful Refinements”, the author takes these secrets even further and gives us many methods using the six secrets, to expand our creativity and solve problems. Lastly, he shows us know to take the concept of private writing and apply in publicly in our blogs, presentations and published works.

If are someone who is paralyzed by the inner critic, using Levy’s easy and enjoyable methods will no doubt help you break free and stimulate your creativity - and stimulate that sometimes elusive “genius.” I believe this book would be useful to novelists, bloggers, journalists, marketers, presenters, troubleshooters - pretty much anyone who puts words to the page or needs to find a solution to a challenging situation. Recommended!

Book 4: Walk Across America by Peter Jenkins

This week’s book was “Walk Across America” by Peter Jenkins, which chronicles his journey across America from 1973 to 1975 with Cooper, his half Husky/Alaskan Malamute companion. As a young man of 21, Peter was bitter and disillusioned with American society. So he decided to take a pilgrimage across the country, from New York to New Orleans, to see if his negative opinions about his people and his country were correct. I admit that I am a fan of these types of books - the “road trip adventures finding yourself” novels - and this one did not disappoint.

Peter takes us along a fascinating journey and tells of the many interesting people he and Cooper came across, most of them loving, generous, and kind-hearted, all demonstrating hospitality in different ways. Some of my favorites included Homer, the reclusive hermit who lived in a shack on top of a mountain, Mary Elizabeth and Pau Pau, the mother and the patriarch of the family in Texana who “adopted” Peter for several months, and Governor George Wallace who Peter met with privately at the Governor’s office . He met all matter of eccentric, patriotic, wise, funny, loving, generous characters (some even a tad frightening) along his route, each with something to teach Peter about himself and life. Each new adventure in the book has its own lesson to teach and to me, each chapter was its own story with its own theme, each leading to self-discovery on Peter’s part. As he continued his hike across America, the lines of race, politics, socio-economic status and his own preconceived notions about “Southerners” and “Rednecks” seemed to disappear as he saw people as they are - just people. I can’t help but wonder how true this would still be today.

Peter did an excellent job of presenting the conversations he had although I did find the attempted use of dialects irritating and difficult to read. There is a reason that authors should avoid transcribing conversations into a local dialect unless they are exceptionally adept at doing so. This was just a minor irritation for me however and did not diminish my enjoyment of the book.

The novel is simple, well-written and easy to read — and by the end of it, I considered Peter somewhat of a friend. What really added to the book’s value was the inclusion of several pictures he took along the way, that made me feel as if I had been there myself. Towards the end, Peter discovers his spiritual side during a Southern revival so he not only made discoveries about Americans but also transforming realizations about himself.

The book was funny, entertaining and touching and in addition to being an enjoyable read, it can help you question stereotypes you may hold and perhaps even rekindle your faith in people. There is a follow-up to this book called “The Walk West: Walk Across America 2” that I may have to add to my reading list.

If you like travelogues, stories of self-discovery or fun road-trip adventure stories, I recommend this excellent tale. Be careful though - it may give you itchy feet and a desire to hit the road!

Why You Should Listen to Others

I was out at dinner the other night and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between a couple seated next to me. Each was talking, but neither was listening to the other. This is by no means the first time I have encountered this. Time and time again, I have witnessed people not listening to each other but instead, completely focused on what they are going to say next.

I became aware of this same thing in my own behavior several years ago and have made a concentrated effort to correct it. When speaking with someone, I often had a list of things in my head that I wanted to say - and rather than listen to what was being said, I instead impatiently waited for the next bit of “dead air” when I could interject what I wanted to say. Occasionally, I noticed a stung look on someone’s face, as I abruptly cut them off to speak my piece - or when I completely failed to acknowledge what they had said.

This new perception then led me to reflect on occurrences when this same thing had happened to me. I remember how irritated I would become when I suspected that the person with whom I was conversing did not hear a thing I said (often, I would question them later, just to test my theory). I felt that my conversation partner showed me an utter lack of respect by not bothering to listen to me. I was a bit of an eye-opener when I realized that I was doing the same thing to others. I was disrespecting them by not listening to their opinions, comments, stories or anecdotes.

Lucky, I found this a relatively easy habit to correct. I simply made a conscious effort to really start listening to others and to focus on what they were saying, rather than focusing on what I wanted to say next. As a result of changing my behavior, I discovered that my relations with others have drastically improved and a lot less miscommunication occurs. I feel closer to people when I’m speaking to them. Moreover, by being attentive to what is being said, I constantly open myself up to new ideas and learn new facts.

It also seems parties involved in an active “listening” conversation seem calmer, more relaxed - or at least I do. Interrupting others constantly is exhausting! I am now learning so much more about the people I interact with - there seems to be a much stronger connection between us.

Something to think about if any of this resonates with you -- it certainly has changed my life for the better.

Photo courtesy of Orange_Beard

The Art of Not Being Critical

I have an acquaintance who loves to criticize those who are around him. He never hesitates to say something to the effect of, “Why, you certainly have gained weight lately!” or “Who dressed you this morning, Helen Keller?” or “I can’t believe you don’t know that! Most people learned that in the sixth grade.” Most of the time, his acquaintances can laugh it off and say “Well, that’s just the way he is.”

However, when you criticize others, you are deliberately trying to cause them pain. Why else would you point out their faults, if you didn’t mean to hurt them? Think about how you feel when others criticize you -- you may feel shame - or feel stung, rejected, withdrawn or hurt. Or you may immediately go on the defensive and angrily lash out. Whatever the reaction, we can safely say that being criticized does not bring out warm, fuzzy feelings of love and acceptance.

I remember a headline from The Onion years ago, “People don’t like it when you call them stupid.” This goes for any sort of criticism. Face it, nobody likes it and the end result is usually hurting the one you are criticizing. And I think we know this deep down. Have you ever criticized someone and immediately felt a little tug in your chest or perhaps felt ashamed afterwards? We know that criticizing others is not positive behavior and yet we do it anyway. The trick here is to try and become aware of the words you use when relating to others and how they make you feel. For many of us, criticizing is a bad habit but as we become more and more aware of when we are doing it (or about to do it), we can begin the process of eliminating it from our habit repertoire.

Richard Carlson in his book Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff..and it’s all small stuff said, “When we judge or criticize others, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” Looking at it this way, we can come to understand that overcoming the need to criticize can make us a better person - and make the world a more respectful and tolerant place.

Photo courtesy of AndYaDontStop

Why I Chose Simplicity over Wealth

I was speaking with a friend awhile back about career paths and such and he said something to the effect of, “With all of your experience in computers, you should be making a ton of money at a big company. How come you’re not doing it?” I smiled to myself, knowing what this person’s life is like. He is a classic super-achiever - puts in 80 hours a week, takes minimal vacation (if any at all) and purchases large expensive toys, most of which he has no time to enjoy.

I was like that once - I worked for a major banking corporation and was pretty much on the same track - I worked a ridiculous amount of hours with the goal of eventually becoming stinking rich. I’m not sure when this goal changed for me. There was no great epiphany that struck me one day, but rather a slow realization that this was not the life I wanted to lead. It reminded me of a quote that my father used to say jokingly, “I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I”m pretty sure it wasn’t this!”

After a bit of reflection, about what I wanted out of life, I came up with the following reasons I chose the path I am on:

Freedom

Freedom has always been important to me. I remember once when I put in a vacation request, my boss simply said, “Nope, can’t have it during that time.” I took my vacation anyway - I just called in sick for that week. This was probably my first clue that I was not cut out for the corporate environment. Working for myself has enabled me to work when I want, go on vacation when I want or even conduct my business from France or Ireland, if I so choose.

Not to have to go to work to a cubicle every day

I used to hate this more than anything. I found that being in a cubicle all day long sucked the life right out of me. This is probably because I was raised on a 160-acre farm and simply was not used to being in such confined quarters - it’s a personal preference. Many people have to problems at all working in such an environment - but for me, it just didn’t work out.

A life with minimal (or no) meetings.

I honestly recall being at a meeting where the goal was to decide when and what the topic of our next meeting would be. I loathed meetings and usually found them to be not only a huge waste of time, but incredibly boring as well. It’s been years since I’ve been to a meeting - I find that most of my business can be conducted via e-mail, Twitter or Skype from the comfort of my own home office or outside deck.

To be surrounded by peaceful, loving people

This was a big one for me. Being surrounded by fearful, frenzied, rushed, competitive and uptight people made me fearful, frenzied, rushed, competitive and uptight. I recall that just being in the presence of these “super-achievers” got my adrenaline going - and not in a good way. I was constantly nervous, stressed-out and in a frenzy whenever these folk were near. These days I am surrounded by relaxed, peaceful people and am much better for it.

To be able to explore the creative side of myself

Exploring my creativity was something that I did not do until I became an entrepreneur. Creating my business sparked additional creative outlets for me - writing, public speaking and learning a musical instrument, just to name a few. The corporate environment where I found myself had little room for personal creativity - there was a system to follow and all were expected to strictly adhere to it. Now I realize that not all corporate workplaces are like this - many are quite supportive of personal creativity. Mine unfortunately, was not one of them.

A life not bogged down by unnecessary possessions

I’ve been a minimalist for a good part of my life and there’s a good reason for that - I hate clutter! There is also the idea of freedom as well - one cannot be too free when bogged down with possessions. I have been in houses that are chock-full of stuff and literally found it difficult for me to breath. I know that I could have much “nicer” things if I had stayed on the corporate ladder path. But at some point, I decided that my freedom was more important to me than stuff - freedom of NOT having to work 80 hours of week to pay for my crap and freedom of not being a slave to my possessions. I find my life much more pleasurable being surrounded only by those things that I enjoy and that add value to my life.

Plenty of down time so that I can enjoy life

I sometimes wonder whether I’m just lazy but I am unable to see the value in working long hours. I personally love traveling, bicycling, camping, being outdoors, experiencing new things and new people -- basically just getting out there and being a part of my community. When I used to work for others, I would come home so wrecked and brain-dead that there was little energy or motivation for anything else. I prefer less work and more play.

These were just some of the things that were important to me in making my compromise - and yes, there was a compromise involved. This comes back to my idea of deciding who you are, and being it. I decided that I wanted to lead a simpler life with more opportunities for travel, creativity, personal development - and less focus on wealth, possessions and upward mobility. I have deliberately kept my business small in order to maintain all of that mentioned above. In doing so, I sacrificed being rich, living in a mansion and having expensive things. If having a lot of money is important to you and something that you strive for, by all means pursue it - everyone should pursue that which is important to them.

I made my decision. While I know that I could be making a lot more money, I chose instead a life of freedom and simplicity - and am more than happy with my decision.

Photo courtesy of lanraga